Author: Jamillah Lamb and David Lamb
Publisher: Between The Lines Production Inc.
Published: Feb. 1, 2012
Genre: Marriage/Love and Romance
Review: Paperback provided by author as part of blog tour
Buy Links: Amazon, Amazon.uk
Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together Finally a relationship book that deals with real life and real love. Written by a couple who have found (and worked at!) a true and lasting love, Perfect Combination teaches the 7 key ingredients to live and love together, all while keeping it 100% honest. This book is like sitting down at the kitchen table and having that couple you admire tell you everything: the good, the not-so-good, and what you need to know to triumph in love while still remaining true to who you are. In Perfect Combination, Jamillah and David take you behind the scenes of a relationship put to the test: working side by side 24/7; the day-to-day financial worries that can stress any pair; and a painful, but ultimately happy journey to having their first child. Each chapter in the book tells real life stories in a unique conversational style, with Jamillah and David playing off each other with honesty, harmony and a healthy dose of humor. Each section ends with a key 'ingredient' that sums up what any couple can learn to transform their own relationships. It is also packed with practical tips for "cooking up" love and romance. If you think this book is about some "perfect couple" that never have a fight or haven't overcome serious struggles, you're in for a surprise. Being a "perfect combination" doesn't mean never having a conflict... it means working together to answer the questions: What is Love? What is Romance? What is Marriage? Jamillah & David have: Each suffered with past relationship-sabotaging behaviors they found hard to let go Battled themselves and each other about what was important in their past Struggled to figure out that mutual appreciation is more important than gender roles Helped each other through hurting times on the way to becoming a family Learned you've got to let yourself learn love lessons, even when you don't like the lesson If you've read relationship books in the past, and thought, "that sounds great, but how do you actually do that?" then Perfect Combination is for written for you. This book goes deeper than typical relationship books, romance novels, and romance movies. Men, you'll recognize yourselves in David's struggle to drop his suspicious nature and eventually sacrificing his fear of vulnerability by choosing love above all. You'll smile to yourself when you read David admitting sometimes he expects Jamillah to read his mind and know what he wants. Women, you'll see yourself in Jamillah's painfully honest struggle to realize that she could let herself be cared about and cared for without it being a sign of weakness. You'll cheer her courage as she leaves a comfortable corporate job to help them both live out a dream. And you'll discover many more powerful stories and lessons when you read Perfect Combination. Jamillah and David are the creative force behind the successful off-Broadway play, Platanos Y Collard Greens, currently in its 9th year running. Now they bring you their secrets on how any couple can strengthen their love and create a harmony of work, friendship and respect
So many couples don't want to deal with it, especially not in detail, but we all come to every relationship with a past. We walk around carrying hurts, pains and regrets in gigantic emotional duffel bags. Believe us; we do the same, just like every other couple. Just because you see us on stage smiling at each other affectionately at the end of a great show, our genuine love on display doesn't mean that we haven't had to unload emotional baggage to arrive at a place of Love and Happiness. So before we get into what works in our relationship and in our partnership, or deal with the places where we are still being challenged, we wanted to share with you our "Before You” talk.
We have all been in relationships before that didn't work, and we all have to deal with the ideas, memories, expectations and pain that keep us from Love and Happiness. It's necessary because there are some important lessons you learned in those other relationships about what you don't want and will not accept in a relationship (your deal-breakers). But, here's the truth that stings: even though you're an amazing, wonderful, gifted person, you have also learned some things about yourself that didn't always reflect you in the best light, but they were real.
In order to be willing to move forward, in love, with love, you've got to deal with what you've learned about yourself. The lessons you learned are important and it's essential to incorporate them into your everyday thinking so that you don't make those same mistakes or waste time on those same conversations, when you know that you already know better.
I received this book as part of a blog tour to give an honest review.
When I saw the title being asked for review I figured I wanted to give it a try. I am always looking to see what else I can do to make my marriage work even better and be more happy for the both of us. In this book you get advice on how it worked for both Jamillah and David. They give advice on how you shouldn't let your past have anything to do with your present. There was one part that I really connected with and that was when us women argue we like to bring up other things than what is truly bothering us in the first place and that is really what I do. It was nice to know I wasn't alone in it. You get happy times within the story and some I wouldn't use bad times but maybe unhappy times. I think this is a book that both partners should read as it gives great advice even though every relationship is different you be able to take something away from it and put it within your own relationship.
At the end of each chapter you get a playlist and I have to say that was pretty cool. Some of the songs bought up some wonderful memories.
David and Jamillah Lamb are the creative and dynamic couple that founded Between The Lines Productions, Inc. to fulfill their co-mission: to spread inspiration, joy, and love through the power of theater and other media. They are also co-authors of the acclaimed Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together.
As they’ve taken each step of their unique journey, they’ve become a trusted source for answering the questions like: What is Love? What is Romance? What is Marriage?
They didn’t wake up one day, and ‘poof’, they were instant relationship gurus. That might be how it happens in romance novels and romance movies, but that’s not the story of their romance. Their expertise grew out of everyday living and a desire to teach each other the lessons of love, the joys and trials of marriage, and the beauty of a romance. They are dedicated to giving other couples an honest, no-holds barred look at their struggles, their hurts, their triumphs, and their love.
David was born in Queens, NY and raised in public housing in Astoria, Queens. He attended Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University and New York University School of Law. The successful playwright of the hit off-Broadway play Platanos Y Collard Greens, David has found the love of his life in Jamillah.
Despite knowing he had found the right person, David struggled to lower his guard and put aside his tendency to be suspicious of women. Before Jamillah, David would often find himself breaking up with girlfriends rather than risk being hurt by rejection. Recognizing he had found a “kind heart and sweet spirit” in Jamillah, he made the decision “to grow up and grow into feeling what love felt like.” As the relationship has deepened, he’s learned other lessons. He now smiles at his typically male (let’s be honest!) expectation that Jamillah be able to read his mind.
The ability of love and romance to conquer hurts and overcome hardships is a theme that runs through David’s books and plays. He loves being a business, marriage, and parenting partner with Jamillah.
Jamillah grew up in Chicago in the same neighborhood as First Lady Michelle Obama. She earned a Bachelor’s degree in Economics from Wesleyan University and then a Masters degree in Public Policy from Harvard University. A former Vice-President at Citibank, Jamillah uses her education and experience in the daily operations of their business.
Just like David, Jamillah had baggage of her own to overcome. Raised in a strict environment with high expectations, she struggled to lighten up. She put men she met before David “through the ringer,” worrying that allowing someone to care for her meant being less independent. As she learned to overcome her fears and become more trusting, she came up against other challenges. Becoming a family with the birth of their daughter Kaira was not a straight path. The journey to this incredible blessing was filled with adversity and pain, but also the support of David.
Jamillah made one of her most important life decisions in 2005. At that time, Jamillah was a VP at Citibank, while also helping get David’s first play off the ground. The play had been going well for a couple of years, but it was still a big leap of faith when she made the decision to leave a comfortable corporate job to work on their business full-time. Through ups and downs, and the typical financial worries of growing a business, Jamillah has never regretted her decision. The choice has allowed them to be together day in and day out doing creative, passionate work together
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