How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst

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Title: How I Lost You
Author: Jenny Blackhurst
Published: Oct. 10, 2017
Publisher: Atria Books
Pages: 385
Genre: Mystery
Review: ebook provided by NetGalley and Publisher
Buy Links: Amazon, Amazon.uk 


They told her she killed her son. She served her time. But what if they lied?
I have no memory of what happened but I was told I killed my son. And you believe what your loved ones, your doctor and the police tell you, don't you?

My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my twelve-week-old son Dylan. I was sent to Oakdale Psychiatric Institute for my crime, and four weeks ago I was released early on parole with a new identity, address and a chance to rebuild my tattered life.
This morning, I received an envelope addressed to Susan Webster. Inside it was a photograph of a toddler called Dylan. Now I am questioning everything I believe because if I have no memory of the event, how can I truly believe he's dead?

If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back?

I received this book via NetGalley to give an honest review.

Man I was pulled into this story and it was hard for me to stop reading. A mother's worst nightmare happens to Susan and you just can't help but to read to find out if there will be justice. 

Susan has been in a Institute for killing her newborn son, yet she doesn't fully remember doing it just that she woke up with him dead. 
She has felt guilt ever since then and has pushed everyone away. She is starting a new life, with a new place, new name, just everything is new. She wants to fly under the radar so no one should know who she is exactly. Yet when she ends up getting a picture of a young boy who could be her child it opens up a secret that has been going on for a long time. How truly well do you know someone if you think you have your life in order?
That is the question that Susan has to figure out because what she uncovers is all connected in one way or another to the death of her son. We see how Susan doesn't give up trying to get the answers to what happened along with finding out who is sending her things to do with her son in the mail. 

We go back and forth between Susan in the present day to a group of boys in the past and it all leads us to an amazing ending. I loved how the plot was a steady pace and how I was easily pulled into the story line. I can not imagine what Susan went through four years ago, she is a strong character. As far as characters go I felt that they were done really good and the situations they were in really shaped them. 




Jenny Blackhurst grew up in Shropshire where she still lives with her husband and children. Growing up she spent hours reading and talking about crime novels so writing her own seemed like natural progression. She is the author of How I Lost You and Before I Let You In.

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